


Ray Vecchio's Diary

by nomave



Category: due South
Genre: Diary/Journal, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-07
Updated: 2012-09-07
Packaged: 2017-11-13 18:05:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/506240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nomave/pseuds/nomave
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ray Vecchio's last diary entry before he went undercover as Armando Langoustini. Ray sets down his thoughts and fears about what will happen to his friends and family, in particular Fraser, while he is gone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ray Vecchio's Diary

Well I guess this will be the last entry I make in this diary for a while. I’ve kept one since I was a teenager when Ma thought it would be a good idea to write down what I thought about all the bullying stuff going on at school with Zuko. You know, seeing as I never wanted to talk about it. She was right. It was easier to put things on paper and it helped me work it all through. I’ve kept doing the same thing ever since, when I’ve had things to say but nobody I wanted to say them to. Which means there aren’t that many entries, and what’s there makes pretty miserable reading, but the diary been good ‘therapy’ in hard times - Zuko, the divorce from Ange, shooting Fraser, Irene’s death. Really cheerful stuff like that.

Speaking of Benny, he’d really be surprised to know I keep a diary, and I hope I don’t get killed and have to look down on him reading it like he does with his Dad’s journals. But then maybe I’m actually going to hell and I can burn them instead when I get there. Do Canadians believe in hell? Or would they be too polite for it. “Excuse me, Mr Satan, would you mind turning the temperature down slightly? Of course, if you prefer 666 degrees...”

Anywway, I’m putting off what I really want to talk about. Not that I can actually talk about it in the first place, as it’s too dangerous, but hopefully this will all make sense anyway. I’m going away tomorrow. Leaving Chicago. I don’t know how long for, and there’s a very real chance I may not come back at all. That’s basically as much as I can say. I’m worried about the people I’m leaving here, particularly as I won’t be able to have any contact with them while I’m gone. I won’t know if anything happens to them, and they won’t know anything about what’s going on with me. And I’m worried about my car. The car I’m leaving in the hands of a stranger. The car Fraser keeps doing his best to destroy. I’m thinking I’m not going to come back to find the Riv in the state I left it.

Ma has been crying ever since she found out about me going. Crying and checking that I’ve packed enough underwear for my trip. I tried to explain that I’ll have underwear waiting for me at my destination, but she seems to think that’s worse. 

Then there’s Frannie. She’s applied for Elaine’s job at the precinct, because Elaine is finally getting her badge. Assuming Frannie gets the job, I think I’m glad I’m not going to be around to see the chaos that’s going to cause. Not to mention how Fraser will deal with having her around all the time. He’s going to have that deer caught in the headlights look permanently.

Fraser. Benny. Bane of my life and best friend I’ve ever had. I think he’s actually the one I’m most worried about in all this. I mean, he’s come a long way since he first came to Chicago on the trail of his father’s killers. He can cope with the big city now – even if he does still insist on dressing like a giant stop sign, walking around being nice to people, licking disgusting things, and keeping a donut stealing wolf. In fact he copes a lot better than I ever thought he would when we first met, and sometimes he even manages to restrain himself from wanting to arrest everyone he sees dropping litter. But who’s going to fend off all those women who are constantly throwing themselves in his path like lemmings? Even Dragonlady Thatcher, who doesn’t even like him, has had an odd look in her eye lately. If we could bottle whatever it is Fraser has, we’d make a fortune. I’d say it was the ridiculous uniform, except I didn’t get any action that time I was wearing it. More likely it’s the fact that he’s not interested, and they see that as a challenge. To be honest, I wish he was interested in someone (provided it isn’t my sister. Take note of that Frannie, if you’re reading this - and don’t think I don’t know when you break into my desk drawer). Fraser needs to finally get over the whole Victoria thing, but I don’t know that he ever will. Anyway, as I was saying, I’m worried about how he’ll do when I’m away, because I don’t know who’s going to look out for him now. Then again, maybe this is what he needs. Yeah, I probably need to let go. It will be good for him. And he’ll be useful to the guy replacing me at the precinct. God knows he’s going to need all the help he can get. Benny will be fine. Yeah, keep telling yourself that Ray, and maybe you’ll start to believe it.

I think part of the worry about Fraser is that he’s not here at the moment. He’s off on ‘holiday’ in the frozen north. I know what ‘holiday’ means for Fraser. It will mean he’s found somebody who’s been stealing from a moose herd or something and will be chasing them across a snow field. And yes, I know it’s summer there at the moment, but isn’t it always snowing in the Yukon?

I have to call him tomorrow. Which I’ve been putting off, as I don’t know what to say. But tomorrow’s my last day in Chicago, so I can’t delay it any longer. I’ll be clearing my desk, putting my files away (or maybe I should leave that for Fraser to do), closing the door on life as I know it, and going off into the unknown. To be honest, I’m scared – scared of what I’ll face there, scared of what will happen while I’m away, scared of what I’ll find when I come back, and scared I won’t come back. This had better be good for my career. 

So, goodbye diary. See you when I get back.

 

Don’t worry about Benton, Ray, I’m taking good care of him – Frannie.


End file.
